In June 2016, about a month before the first day of my freshman year of high school, I wrote this post, titled “I’m Going On An Adventure | next year + growing up”, back when I still mostly-consistently posted and my blog signature was still that small blue robot. In that post, I sort of outlined all my nerves and worries about starting high school with a small class of kids I mostly didn’t know, at a magnet school that I was nervous about going to.
And man, y’all, has high school been a ride. Freshman year was fun, sophomore year got harder, and junior year was a straight-up mess, which brings us to now: the summer between junior and senior year (technically, I only have about a week and a half left before school starts but it’s still summer it’s fine). I don’t know. I feel a bit like I’m back in that spot that I was in before freshman year, of nerves and excitement and just energy rearing to go, mostly because of how last year went.
I didn’t mention it in the original post, but the magnet school I’m at is an International Baccalaureate (IB) school (or, more accurately, a normal public school with an application-based IB program). If you’re unfamiliar with how IB works, your last two years of high school are done with the IB curriculum, after spending the previous two years “prepping” for the IB courses, and if you graduate with enough IB credits, you get a second internationally-recognized high school diploma. Woo! It’s a very intensive and difficult program that requires basically sacrificing your whole life to the IB gods (it’s fine, you didn’t need extracurriculars or a social life anyways, except psych you totally do to get into college).
And it was…a lot. And I ended up not being able to handle it, making last year an incredibly fun mess of anxiety, lowered grades, mental health struggles, and unsympathetic teachers that resulted in me dropping the full diploma program and just taking a couple IB classes this year, which I am very incredibly relieved about. I’m just sticking with IB English and History, and then an additional IB French class that’s more chill due to the IB French exams being last year. This means I get to do some fun stuff! Like mentor with my art teacher and take an Astronomy class! But, like I said, I’m nervous. School became vaguely miserable last year, and it makes the whole process of getting ready to go back slightly nervewracking. Combine that with applying for college & raising SAT scores & deciding to do early admission makes this whole year feel like a cliff that I have to climb without ropes.
Logically, I know that in reality this year’s probably going to be, like, a small hill that I’m at the top of before I’ve even realized, since I’m taking less rigorous classes and am actually more prepared for application processes than your average high school student, but at the same time: it’s another adventure. Another brand-new experience inside what was already a brand-new experience. And I really hope I’m ready for it.
P.S.- Just a few housekeeping things! Firstly: I’ve done another blog redesign, if you couldn’t tell from the new signature! Go check it out, I’m quite proud of it. Secondly: I’m on Twitter, now, I guess? I’m very bad at posting and, like, interacting with people but we’ll get there someday. Maybe. Hopefully. I’m @bookishevi on there!